im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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