You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
