Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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