Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
