I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
