He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
