I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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