got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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