bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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