Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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