so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
