Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
