This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
