How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
