Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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