you guys were way drunker than both of me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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