Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
