still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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