that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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