She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My bed smells like the plague
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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