Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My underwear smells like fireworks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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