After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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