Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just pee around me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize