So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize