Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
