We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
