how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
