I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
