You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
