Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
