i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize