Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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