Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
