what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
