in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
