i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
