fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
