Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
