I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
