my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
