I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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