things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize