then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's blow job season.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
