Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
