I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize