youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
