i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Everything about him screamed your future.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize