We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
