just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
