I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
