Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
