Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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