His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
