ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
