People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
