so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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