just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
