ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You can't motorboat a personality
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
