Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
