Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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