He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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