I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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